#10 Bulbo Finally Leaves Wobbiton

"You've left the party, Pantsoff!" said Bulbo. "The frozen Margaritas must have run out."

"No," said Pantsoff. "There was just no sense in lingering. Too many sloshed wobbits looking for fights as they staggered to their waggons in the parking lot. I'm at a point in my career where I can't be seen duking it out with someone half my height. Did you like my concluding fireworks?"

"I loved watching those rubes run for their lives!" said Bulbo. "But why did you add the popcorn effect to my disappearance? My relatives thought you turned me into Fiddle Faddle!"

"And then they gathered you up and ate you!"

"They like a good snack," said Bulbo. "But it spoils my joke if they suspect you of foul play!"

"Since when is disappearing a joke? I'd call it more of a stage illusion. It's also a great way of drawing attention to the ring you've kept secret since the SmithiBank gig at the Only Mountain. Bulbo, I never know what you're going to do next!"

"I'm going on vacation. I am old, Pantsoff. Not as old as you of course, but old. I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it. Come to think of it, I've known you for decades and you've been an old man the whole time. What's with that?" 

Pantsoff shrugged.

"Like I was saying, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean, like when I joined that yoga class by mistake. I need a change! I want to see mountains again, Pantsoff—mountains. I want to see them through a large window in a ski resort, as I sit in a recliner by a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine. I'll be able to finish the Deluxe Reissue of my book, with a new ending: and he lived happily ever after to the end of his days." 

Pantsoff laughed. "That has to be an improvement over all the other endings you tried: After all, tomorrow is another day or Pantsoff, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, or That'll do, pig, that'll do. But nobody will ever read the book, however it ends. The excerpts you posted were horrible!"

"Promo read them, and he thought they were great!"

"He has to," said Pantsoff. "He's your sole heir. He doesn't want you to write him back out of your will."

"Good old Promo. You'll keep an eye on him, won't you, Pantsoff?"

"Yes, I will—two eyes, and a foot on his neck, as often as I can spare them. He's a tweenager, after all. If only I weren't so busy with my research on your ring. Say, where is the ring, anyway? We had a deal, you were to give it up."

"Oh, it's here," said Bulbo. "And Promo will get it with everything else: the condo, the rootball cards and collectibles, the investments with SmithiBank, and of course the silver, gold and all the jools."

"The what?"

"I'm sorry, the 'jewels.' Daddy Shortlegs long suspected I had them, but my stupid gardner has been denying it for years. I'm leaving him and his son to Promo, too. They'll be his problem."

"Yeah, that's great, Bulbo, but where's the ring?

"The what?"

"The ring!" said Pantsoff. "Where is it?"

"It's in an inter-office envelope right there on the mantle, you old idiot! What are you: blind or stupid? I swear, you are the most self-absorbed— oh wait. Here it is in my pocket. No offense, Pantsoff."

"None taken, half-pint. Now reach way up and set it on the mantle."

"Listen, you hulking geezer, where do you get off telling me what to do with my joolery?"

"Easy there, knee-high. Let's not get fussy."

"If I am it is your fault," said Bulbo. "It is mine, I tell you, mine! All mine! Bwa-ha-ha! My precious, I say, precious! Look at me when I talk to you, son! The precious is mine, I say, mine!"

"That voice! Where have I heard that voice?" said Pantsoff. "Now I remember! You sound exactly like the creature you 'won' the ring from, Lady Gol-Gol! And that's not meant as a compliment!"

"Here we go," said Bulbo.

"That's right! Let me tell you for the brazillionth time how potentially dangerous this ring is! Oh, and that 'stretched' feeling you mentioned? Probably caused by the ring! Look at the legal disclaimers for any magic ring, and you'll see things like 'May cause nausea, drymouth, night hysteria and certain sexual side effects. Not for use by pregnant women, pregnant dwarfs, pregnant elves, or pregnant wobbits. Stretched feelings may result.' Give up the ring, Bulbo!"

"Give it up to who? You?"

Pantsoff's eyes flashed above his menacing nose-hairs. The room darkened and he seemed to grow large, which is common when you try to stand up straight in a wobbit's rumpus room. Bulbo gaped at him and scuttled into a corner.

"Eek!" he said.

"Bulbo Bunkins! Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks! I'm a wizard and a project manager, and my mystical Gannt charts all tell me that it is time for you to give up the ring!" The light returned to the room and Pantsoff appeared to shrink as he re-lit the lamps and sat down. Bulbo peeked out from behind the Lay-Z-Boy.

"Are you d-d-done?" he asked.

"Quite," said Pantsoff. "Now give us a hug!"

"Please, Pantsoff. Not in front of the dwarves." Three dwarves entered the room with Bulbo's baggage, parcels and paraphernalia. Bulbo quickly recovered from his fright at Pantsoff's cheap trick. "Well, I'm off. I hope there's a market for your research. Give my best to Promo."

"Guys, give us a minute," Pantsoff said to the dwarves, who discreetly took Bulbo's things outside. Pantsoff continued with Bulbo. 

"And the ring?"

"The what, now?"

"The ring," said Pantsoff, sighing. "It's still in your pocket."

"Ah, yes," said Bulbo. "So it is." He pulled out the red-rope envelope.

"Great. Is the ring in there, and is it the ring we're talking about? Why don't you open that envelope?"

Bulbo glared at him, and started unwinding the string that kept the envelope's flap closed. 

"Take your time," said Pantsoff.

Bulbo finally got the string undone. He opened the envelope, held it out at arm's lenght, and turned it over. A little while later, the ring dropped out to the floor. It landed with a strange "Ka-Boom" sound, and immediately lay flat on the linoleum floor.

"Whew!" said Pantsoff. "I'm glad that thing didn't bounce away or roll. I wasn't about to try to get it out from under your chiffarobe."

"It's a home entertainment center."

"Maybe a credenza?"

"Whatever," said Bulbo, as he opened his aluminum screen door for the last time and joined the dwarves in the Wobbiton darkness. They walked off, as Bulbo sang quitely to himself a reprise of an old song, not bothering to update the lyrics:

The show must go forever on 

so if there’s money to be made 

I’ll once more put my mailshirt on 

and kill a dragon again, someday 

Or else I’ll send a relative 

off to risk his limb and life 

To him my magic ring I’ll give 

and my magic Elf Army Knife 

Keep coming back for more of Superfriends Of The Ring. To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK  

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#9 Bulbo Packs His Things (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Every Bunkins, Boffo, Dork, Buckiebrand, Blobb, Slobb, Churros, Bulger, Buttcruncher, Craphouse, Widebody, Hornhonker, and Smellfoot began to talk at once. Mostly they were asking where the dessert carts and Elvish Coffee were. Everyone talked except Promo. He had enjoyed Bulbo's joke, but didn't say so or laugh out loud; he thought it was more of a publicity stunt than a joke. This was too bad, since Bulbo had intended to sneak out of town. To help still some of the controversy, Promo ordered that Pantsoff's huge supply of distilled spirits be quietly added to all punch, beer and wine. Given the appetite of the normal wobbit, many of them would forget about Bulbo's joke by morning, if they remembered the evening at all. Before a mickey could be slipped into his beer, though, Promo drained it and left quickly. He didn't want to have to dodge any of Pantsoff's final fireworks.

As for Bulbo Bunkins, you probably realize without being told that he had disappeared using the golden ring you're familiar with; the very magic ring that he had acquired on his journey with the Dwarves of Smithibank as detailed in his book There Goes My Back Again. After getting the wrong ring on the first try, he slipped it on his finger, disappeared, and was never seen by any wobbit in Wobbiton again, much like Hootie And The Blowfish.

He walked back to his below-ground condo, listening with a smile to the ka-booms of very low altitude fireworks and the shrieks of slow-moving party guests. Then he stepped down through the "al-u-minium" screen door into his home. He took off his tuxedo and put on a worn out dwarven cloak and some tattered corduroy pants so old the corduroy was worn smooth in many spots. He pushed some old Smithibank t-shirts aside in a dresser drawer and found an Elf Army Knife with multiple tools and the traditional red handle. It was only a pocket knife, but for a wobbit it was the size of an average shortsword, or perhaps a very short longsword. Large as it was for him, it fit discreetly into a pocket of the ancient pants. 

He reached under his bed, not easy for any wobbit, and pulled out a hole-punched manuscript in a leather three-ring binder, which he put with some spare boxers, a few waistcoats and a swim suit into a large gladstone bag. Then he swore, dug his tuxedo pants out of the laundry hamper, and took his golden ring out of one of the pockets. It was now attached to a fine chain, an uncanny chain that had been mysteriously absent during his disappearing act at the party. He went to his desk and found an old bank envelope with a red string and two buttons on the back. He put in his ring with its chain, closed the flap and wound the red rope back and forth around and around and around the two buttons. It was a really long string, because the envelope was only for the most important bank business. It said so on the front of the envelope. He wound it some more around and around until he ran out of rope. The envelope was sealed. He swore again, unwound and unwound the string, removed the ring and chain, and found a pen and ink. On the front of the envelope in the "To" column he wrote Promo's name, and in the "From" column he wrote his own. The he put the whole thing back together and put it on the coffee table by his recliner. Then he picked it up and stuck it in his pocket. It was then that Pantsoff walked in.

"You've left the party!" said Bulbo. "The frozen Margaritas must have run out."

Keep coming back for more of Superfriends Of The Ring. To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK .  

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#8 The Wobbit's Speech (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Pantsoff and the two young wobbits returned to the party looking for table space that would allow the three of them to sit together. They walked past many Bunkinses and Boffos, and also many Dorks and Buckiebrands. There were various Blobbs (relations of Bulbo's grandmother) and Slobbs (connexions of his Dork grandfather who insisted on spelling "connexions" with an "x"). There was a selection of Churroses, Bulgers, Buttcrunchers, Craphouses, Widebodies, Hornhonkers and Smellfoots. The Snackbag-Bunkinses were not forgotten, and could not be, since they were rude even by wobbit standards. Oboe and his wife Earlobia hated Bulbo and liked Promo even less, but they knew if they didn't attend they would be openly lampooned by Bulbo in his inevitable after-dinner speech. Pantsoff was looking forward to it for some reason, but the wobbits he was dragging along, Mariellen and Puppy, would have chewed their own legs off to escape. 

Bulbo was about to begin. His guests were all groggy from too many fried cheese curds, or on a post-sugar buzz crash from too many deep fried Twinkies, or geezed from too much bulk-purchase beer. They were still eating and drinking, of course, and would continue to do so as long as there were tater tots and box wine within arms reach. 

Bulbo's table was in front of the Party Tree, which was festooned with toilet paper, conveniently close to the Party Latrines. The dwarves that dug them insisted that they be behind the head table to keep the run-off away from the pig-roast area. This had seemed like a smart approach until the wind shifted earlier in the afternoon. Bulbo stood up and cleared his throat.

"Stand up!" shouted a Heckler. The entire Heckler family had come all the way from distant Bugford Falls to eat Bulbo's free food.

"He is standing up!" shouted another. This is how all wobbit speeches begin.

My dear Bunkinses and Boffos, he began again; and my dear Dorks and Buckiebrands, and Blobbs, and Slobbs, and Churroses, and Hornhonkers, and Bulgers, Buttcrunchers, Widebodies, Craphouses, and Smellfoots. "SmellFEET!" shouted an elderly wobbit. 

"Smell your own feet!" shouted another of the Hecklers.

Smellfoots, insisted Bulbo. Also my good Snackbag-Bunkinses that I welcome, Bulbo paused to do air-quotes, at last, back to my condo behind Virginia's Beauty Parlor. Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday. I am eleventy-one today! One-one-one! Almost one hundred twelve! He went on like this for some time. It was all so pointless that even the Hecklers were speechless.

Like I said, Eleventy-one years, which is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable wobbits! Although when one is with my dear Snackbag-Bunkinses, eleventy one years seems like a very long time indeed. Tremendous outburst of approval.

I don't like half of you half as well as you might think, and I know less than half of what you think of me, which is how I like it. There followed a brief silence, broken when one confused wobbit yelled "He's a witch!" Nervously, Bulbo reached into his pocket, as if he was about to draw a gun and shoot his way out. But he had an even better exit planned.

Finally, he said, I wish to make a couple of announcements. Will the owner of the blue ox-cart please move it immediately, you're double parked. Also, I regret to announce that I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOODBYE!

Nothing happened. He looked panicky, patted his pockets, took a ring off his finger, and reached into his pocket again.

No kidding this time. I am leaving NOW, REALLY. GOODBYE!

He stepped down and vanished. There was a sudden flurry of fresh, hot popcorn falling out of air. The guests all took off their hats and held them up to catch yet more snack food for themselves. Then they noticed that Bulbo was gone.

"Finally!" a Heckler shouted. "I thought he'd never stop talking!"


Keep coming back for more of Superfriends Of The Ring. To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK .  

If you don't have a Kindle reader, you can download the Kindle app from Amazon for free and then read The Wobbit on your Mac, PC, smartphone or microwave oven. Visit http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/

#7 Bonus Scene: Pantsoff Finds Mary And Puppy (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Two young wobbits watched Pantsoff's fireworks with great interest. One took a quirky little bite out of the fried pickle he was holding as he glanced about suspiciously. The wobbits ducked into the fireworks tent. A skyrocket exploded overhead, the sparks spelling out "Shop in Wobbiton and save! Paid for by the Wobbiton Chamber of Commerce."  The second wobbit, who somehow looked even stupider than the one holding a fried pickle, grabbed a nearby rocket.

"No, no!" said the pickle-wobbit. "Big one! Big one!" The stupid wobbit picked up another rocket so fanciful-looking that it seemed hazardous to launch. "Well? Stick it in the ground!"

"Stick what in the ground?" said the stupid one.

"The skyrocket of course! What did you think I meant?"

"I don't know. Whatever." The stupid wobbit stuck it in the ground. "Got a match?"

"Yeah, your face and my butt!" the first wobbit said, gesturing grandly with his pickle. "Ha! Really though, I don't, do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you have a match? Because I don't! Come on, dude!"

"No, I quit smoking. Well, now what do we—Youch!"

Both wobbits suddenly found themselves getting terrifying wedgies. Behind them was a bearded old man. He was twice their height, which gave him excellent leverage as he pulled higher and higher on the waistbands of their undies. Soon they were standing uncomfortably on tip-toe, as he addressed them each. 

"Mariellen Buckiebrand" he said to the one with the pickle. "And Parafin Dork. I might have known. Were you really going to set off a skyrocket inside a tent? A tent with clearly posted signs reading 'No Smoking'? A tent filled with fireworks, 190-proof Dwarven Everclear, and Southron-made flammable children's sleepware?"

"We were mostly improvising," said Mariellen. He liked to be called Rock, but everyone called him Mary. "We hadn't thought our plan through this far."

"It was all Mary's idea," said Paraffin. He was often called Puppy, not because of his cute, large eyes, but in recognition of his wisdom, attention-span and self-control.

"Idiots! I should turn you both into Crackerjack. You were about to burn yourselves horribly and ruin my remaining fireworks! But thanks to my intervention there will be plenty of rockets left to chase off any remaining guests at closing time. I just stopped in to get some distilled spirits to liven up Bulbo's punchbowl." 

"Here, take a bottle in each hand. My hands are both full," he said as he dragged the wobbits by the back of their underwear out of the tent. "Let's rejoin the party. Bulbo is about to make his speech!"

"Oh no!" cried Mary and Puppy. "Please turn us into Crackerjack, Pantsoff! Candy-coated popcorn, peanuts and a prize! Please!"

Keep coming back for more of Superfriends Of The Ring. To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK .  

If you don't have a Kindle reader, you can download the Kindle app from Amazon for free and then read The Wobbit on your Mac, PC, smartphone or microwave oven. Visit http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/

#4 Bulbo's Secret Plan (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Outside of Bulbo’s condo behind the beauty salon, he and Pantsoff sat smoking their pipes. It was a filthy habit Bulbo had picked up on their project with Borin Oakmanfield and the dwarves, and he had trouble quitting it, somehow. He blew an expert smoke ring that rose away over the garden that Ham and his son Sham Sammich tended for minimum wage. Pantsoff blew a series of rings that linked together to spell out Pantsoff The Wizard, your one-stop project management solution! As the cloud drifted, it flashed different colors.

“I think I need a holiday,” said Bulbo.

“A holiday from what?” said Pantsoff. “You haven’t done a day’s work since the Oakmanfield Project!”

“A vacation, then. You know, my plan, my secret plan. At the party, with my little joke.”

“The one about the elf and his proctologist?”

“No,” said Bulbo. “The one where I disappear from my own party and leave the bar bill for the Snackbag-Bunkinses.”

“Ah,” said Pantsoff. “Not much of a joke, really. More of a prank. Who will laugh, I wonder?”

The next day more carts rolled up to the beauty salon. There might have been some grumbling along the lines of “Shop locally!” or “Support small businesses!” but that very week orders started pouring out to community merchants, requiring Bulbo to pay the Wobbiton sales tax. Deliveries were made of bulk-package hors d’oeuvres, boxes of wine, countless rolls of crepe paper decorations and every cheap party commodity you can imagine.

Before long, invitations began pouring out. The service at the Wobbiton post-office became even slower than ever, and the one in Buythewater township simply closed until vagrants could be rounded up to help. Bulbo blamed these “guest workers” for the low volume of RSVPs. In fact, his pre-stamped response cards reading Thank you, I shall certainly come, with one guest were mostly sitting on kitchen counters and dining room tables from Bug End to Bugger Heights. Bulbo was never to get an accurate headcount.

Keep coming back for more of Superfriends Of The Ring. To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK .  

If you don't have a Kindle reader, you can download the Kindle app from Amazon for free and then read The Wobbit on your Mac, PC, smartphone or microwave oven. Visit http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/

Astrological Comparison Between Bilbo Baggins and Bulbo Bunkins

Wobbit fan and reviewer The Alchemist has long asked the question "What if Bilbo and Bulbo met in a bar? Any bar, like The Prancing Pony or The Ass-Dragon Inn. If they met, would they get along?

The Alchemist commissioned a study using cutting-edge astrological science to answer that very question, and the results are AMAZING. For the astrological purists out there (Wobbit fan and reviewer Pappy O'Daniel, for one) should be aware that since Bulbo and Bilbo are fictional characters, their fictional birthdates have not been used. Instead, she has used the publication dates of their respective books (September 21, 1937 for Bilbo and May 6, 2011 for Bulbo). This is a widely-respected technique for fictional horoscopes.

The comparison was prepared by the good people at Astrology 3D, Inc. It was written to professional astrological standards. My apologies for any truncation of the following charts.

Enjoy, and keep watching the skies!

To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK .  

If you don't have a Kindle reader, you can download the Kindle app from Amazon for free and then read The Wobbit on your Mac, PC, smartphone or microwave oven. The download is easy: visit http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/

To visit The Wobbit website: thewobbitaparody.com

Comparison Report for Bilbo and Bulbo

Sun	28 VI 4	0N46
Moon	11 AR 32	8N28
Mercury	15 VI 43	4N36
Venus	25 LE 35	13N37
Mars	24 SG 11	25S47
Jupiter	17 CP 34	22S44
Saturn	1 AR 59	1S35
Uranus	13 TA 15	15N25
Neptune	19 VI 3	5N18
Pluto	29 CN 47	22N53
Node	9 SG 35	21S54
Ascendant	3 SG 15	20S49
Midheaven	29 VI 45	0N06

Sun	15 TA 52	16N35
Moon	25 GE 28	23N13
Mercury	19 AR 30	4N51
Venus	18 AR 52	5N51
Mars	26 AR 35	9N37
Jupiter	23 AR 39	8N10
Saturn	11 LI 33	2S05
Uranus	3 AR 0	0N32
Neptune	0 PI 43	11S42
Pluto	7 CP 19	18S43
Node	26 SG 21	23S22
Ascendant	26 LE 1	12N51
Midheaven	18 TA 55	17N27

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Bulbo's Sun in Taurus and Bilbo's Sun in Virgo

Both of you are practical and down to earth. Bilbo is more precise and more of a perfectionist than Bulbo. Bilbo is also more easily worried and more inconsistent. Bulbo is steadier emotionally than Bilbo is, and Bilbo appreciates Bulbo's consistent nurturing, healing, and soothing qualities. You make very good friends!

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Bulbo's Sun Trine Bilbo's Mercury

The mental rapport that you two share is a big reason why you enjoy each other's company and are good friends. Communication is open and harmonious. You work together very well on practical affairs, daily chores, problem-solving, and business activities

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Bulbo's Sun Trine Bilbo's Jupiter

The two of you really enjoy each other's company! Bilbo has a great deal of confidence in Bulbo and is able to see Bulbo's best qualities. You are very encouraging and supportive of each other, helping each other to be more confident, open new doors, and advance and grow in both inner and outer ways. This positive note of good will and harmony is also invaluable in helping the two of you overcome differences in temperament and other stressful aspects of your relationship discussed elsewhere in this report.

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Bulbo's Sun Conjunct Bilbo's Uranus

You inspire each other to try new things, experiment, and investigate alternatives. You may have met each other, for example, during a time period when both of you were breaking free from traditional values and exploring new possibilities. This is a good relationship for shared creative, innovative activities. You inspire each other, and have good times together, but you also find that commitments or contracts with each other are difficult to adhere to over time. This relationship works well as long as you don't make too many demands on each other

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Bulbo's Sun Trine Bilbo's Neptune

The two of you have a strong intuitive understanding of each other, and you inspire each other's imagination, idealism, and aspirations. You help each other to become clearer about your ideals and religious inclinations, and together you develop a greater sense of meaning and purpose in your lives. You help each other to look beyond the daily problems and issues of your personal lives and focus more on altruistic goals and broader issues

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Bilbo's Sun Square Bulbo's Moon

The distinct differences in your temperaments inclines you to periods of personality clashes and misunderstandings. In particular, Bulbo often feels that Bilbo does not sympathize enough or try to really understand Bulbo's feelings. Both of you will have to understand and respect your differences, and make a concerted effort to harmonize your very different temperaments.

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Bulbo's Moon Sextile Bilbo's Venus

There is a great deal of warmth and kindness in this relationship. You do not hesitate to assist each other and you feel like family even if you are not biologically related

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Bulbo's Moon Opposite Bilbo's Mars

Both of you get into an energetic mood when you are together. If you share an interest in the same sport (for example tennis or golf) you will enjoy competing against each other. However, you easily become impatient with each other and easily provoke each other's anger and hostility. You will need to be careful to avoid becoming adversaries.

Composite Report for Bilbo and Bulbo

Sun	21 CN 58	8N40
Moon	18 TA 29	15N50
Mercury	2 CN 36	4N43
Venus	22 GE 13	9N44
Mars	25 AQ 23	8S42
Jupiter	5 PI 36	7S27
Saturn	6 CP 46	2S50
Uranus	23 AR 7	7N58
Neptune	9 SG 53	3S30
Pluto	18 LI 33	2N48
Node	17 SG 58	22S38
Ascendant	14 LI 38	4S50
Midheaven	24 CN 20	8N46

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Sun in Cancer

The longer both of you stay together, the stronger your emotional dependency grows. You enjoy being supportive of one another. This is a warm, protective and deeply caring relationship. You are capable of extreme closeness 

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Moon in Taurus

Your sense of emotional security in this relationship must be absolute. You like to feel that you possess each other. You're very good at pleasing each other on a sensual level. Stubborn attitudes may prolong your disagreements 

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Ascendant in Libra

You are an attractive couple. You love to socialize and people enjoy your company. You know how to charm. The two of you project an image of elegance and fine taste and you endeavor to surround yourselves with beauty. 

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Sun Sesquiquadrate Jupiter

One of the purposes of your friendship is to inspire each other to aim higher, to do bigger things, to see much more of the world, and to expand your sense of what is possible. The energy generated when you are together inclines you to do things on a grand scale, and to constantly strive to expand, grow, and improve your lives.

Inner growth and spiritual or psychological development are enhanced when you are together. Higher ideals, religion, philosophy, and the big questions of life will become a focus of your relationship, even if neither of you is especially oriented toward these subjects. There may well be differences and friction over these topics, but you both will learn about your own faith and beliefs via your friendship 

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Sun Square Uranus

Your friendship may or may not be long lasting, but it will always have a flavor of unpredictability, spontaneity, and surprise. Periodic unexpected events and changes create an unsettled feeling between you, as if you can never quite relax. However, you will never be bored with one another either.

You are destined to act as "awakeners" for one another. One of you may open the other to something totally new and different, even shocking, which revolutionizes the way you view the world and your place in it - something you may once have considered weird or too "far out". Always there will be the element of experimentation, of following the unexpected twist in the road. Being with one another encourages you both to be more free, unconventional, and impulsive than you might be otherwise 

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Moon Semisquare Mercury

Inevitably your communications with one another will be strongly colored by emotion, emotional prejudice and bias, and subjective elements, all of which often interfere with rational discussion. Part of the purpose of your relationship, in fact, has to do with examining your feelings, coming to understand them, and becoming aware of some of your basic assumptions and habitual beliefs which you may have never questioned before. Discussing your differences of opinion about these issues will enable you both to understand your roots, as well as your prejudices. If you can respect one another's opinions and preferences, rather than get defensive, you'll find that you can tell one another very personal details of your lives, and end up being very close friends as a result.

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This report has been written to Professional Astrological Standards. It is meant for Awareness Entertainment