A Long Expected Brunch, Part 3: The Arrival Of Pantsoff (from The Superfriends Of The Ring)

Days past and The Day Of Bulbo Bunkins' Party drew near, whether young Promo Bunkins liked it or not. An odd-looking waggon (you or I would call it a “wagon”) laden with odd-looking packages and paraphernalia toiled up the hill to Bulbo’s condo in the Bug End neighborhood of Wobbiton. It was being driven by an odd-looking old man, not a wobbit. He wore immense black wing-tip boots and an unnecessary, affected scarf. He had a long, bushy moustache that stuck out beyond the brim of his hat. Many wobbits believed it to be nose hair. The bundles, the cart, and even the horse were each labeled with a large red P.

That was Pantsoff’s mark, of course, and it was Pantsoff the Wizard driving the cart. Years as a contractor had made him keenly aware of the business value of Branding, so he put his mark on everything, even things that weren’t his. He was famous in Wobbiton for his fireworks, as well as the fires and smokes that often resulted from them. Pantsoff dabbled in project management during the off-season, and in wizardry on a cash-only basis. As the waggon rolled past, some young wobbit toughs shouted after him “What’s the ‘P’ stand for, old man? P as in…” Pantsoff quickly turned and silenced them by flipping a promotional P-rune beverage coaster at their leader’s head.

“Run away now, you little punks!” said Pantsoff. “There’s more where that came from, and I’m not afraid to use it!” 

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