The Gobfather, Goblin King of the Moisty Mountains

The Gobfather, Goblin King of the Moisty Mountains
from The Wobbit A Parody

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Friday, January 6, 2012

#5 Preparing For The Party (from Superfriends Of The Ring)

A notice appeared on Bulbo's rickety screen door: 1) MEETINGS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY and below that 2) APPOINTMENTS MUST BE SET AT REGULAR MEETINGS. Bulbo became even more reclusive than normal, plotting and scheming constantly. 

One morning, all of Wobbiton was startled awake by a tremendous explosion. It came from a public park near the beauty salon. When wobbits from three neighboring homes went to investigate, they found Pantsoff standing in front of a smoking crater. 

"That was some fine wizarding, if I do say so myself" he said to one and all. The blast radius centered in a spot previously occupied by a swing set, a teeter totter and a jungle gym. With the playground equipment blown up, cartloads of tents, tiki-torches and horseshoe pits were brought in directly from the road. Pantsoff paid off the families to cover repairs of shrapnel damage to their homes and to keep them from making any official complaints to the Shirrif's Office. He had plenty of Bulbo's money available for his expenses.

Ham Sammich was soon re-tasked from his fake gardening duties to lead the putting-up of the tents. He introduced himself to everyone by saying "I'm the Tent-Erection Supervisor, you know, who makes sure the laborers are working hard." He called his son Sham the "Erection Foreman" until Sham begged him to stop.

Despite Ham's leadership, the tents were eventually assembled. The finest elf-cooks were brought in from the Murkywood Wood-Elf Lodge, and dwarf engineers were soon digging state-of-the-art latrines. The dwarves suggested that the especially large tree at one end of the park be decorated with festive yet practical strands of toilet paper.

Keep coming back for more of Superfriends Of The Ring. To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit,  order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon for only $3.00: .  

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